"Relapse is a part of recovery."
In the eating disorder recovery world, this is an extremely common phrase. There have been times I have even heard, "You will relapse," like it's not a choice. While I was in treatment and even now after being home for six-ish months, this belief seems to provide a sense of comfort in some cases.
To me, this almost feels like an insult. I hate this phrase.
For quite a few weeks now, I have been battling thoughts in my head that are telling me that just because others relapse, it automatically means I will, too. If 'everyone' is doing it, then I hate to be the oddball out. These thoughts leave me feeling scared to continue progressing because I don't want to face a challenge, become overwhelmed and before I know it, I'm caught in a full blown relapse. Right now, I am perfectly content to stay put in this phase of recovery where I feel comfortable, if that means I can avoid relapse for the rest of my life.Due to the sensitivity of this subject, I realize how careful I need to be with my words; people in recovery do relapse. Maybe for some people it is a part of their journey, but it is disappointing to me that it is considered a normal, even expected thing.
Sure, I have days that are miserable and seemingly impossible to get through, but that doesn't mean I have to relapse. I have had setbacks and made plenty of mistakes, but that's the only I will learn. Recovery is not perfect; however, assuming that I will relapse is only a set up for failure.
Today I want to challenge this belief; relapse does not have to be a part of recovery. With each bite I take, I have a decision to make- relapse or recovery.
The next time I hear someone say, "relapse is a part of recovery," I can decide whether or not there is any truth in this statement. After a few weeks of processing this idea with my therapist, it is finally starting to sink in; the choice is mine.
Today I choose to start letting go of the fear of relapse. I no longer believe relapse is a necessity in recovery.
Progress.
The next time I hear someone say, "relapse is a part of recovery," I can decide whether or not there is any truth in this statement. After a few weeks of processing this idea with my therapist, it is finally starting to sink in; the choice is mine.
Today I choose to start letting go of the fear of relapse. I no longer believe relapse is a necessity in recovery.
Progress.
I totally agree with you. Relapse doesn't have to be a part of recovery at all. We all have the decision to either keep fighting or slip back into old habits. And to anyone that has relapsed: it's not the end of the world - just keep trying. <3
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. Relapse is a part of recovery for some people and that is OK, too! It just breaks my heart that so many people are willing to accept that relapsing is a part of recovery- especially because it is not true.
DeleteThanks for the comment! <3
I don't think it's fair to say that 'relapse is a part of recovery' although I know that it was through a relapse that I found true freedom, so I'm not sure. I think it goes back to remembering that everyone fighting a eating disorder is different and no one is going to handle recovery and relapse in the same way. Also a slip and a relapse are two completely different things. Maybe it should be slips are normal in recovery instead?!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I really like that idea, Tayla. I knew I needed to be careful with how I worded this, because like you said, everyone is so so different. Slips are normal in recovery is perfect. That is the only way to learn!
DeleteIt's a touchy subject, but while I was in treatment this "relapse is a part of recovery" statement was, sadly, almost like a motto. It made me feel like I was doomed to relapse, but I'm not, if that's the decision I make.
This discussion could go on and on... haha <3
This is my own opinion... Relapse can be a part of recovery, but it does not have to be. We choose our own path whether we are conscious or not. Recovery is a personal journey. You are on your own path, and you get to choose. Do you want Recovery or the disease for today?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your post. Your words mean so much to me... as I am still struggling... xoxo
Yes, your opinion is also true! Recovery is such a personal thing, like you said, it is impossible to suggest one way works for everyone. Thank you for your comment and your honest opinion. We all struggle and that's okay! Keep fighting, girl! <3
DeleteI like your choice, kelsi, because you are choosing life over the disease. I have to say, "I LOVE YOU!!!"
DeleteAww, I love you too!!! :) :)
DeleteI really, really love this. Thank you for sharing this perspective.
ReplyDeleteI'm going through some challenges with feeling out of control in a lot of areas of my life (both with my health and professionally) and I LOVE your thought of: "I can decide if there's truth to this statement".
I think in life, it's easy to tell ourselves stories (or be told, in the case you're talking about). I've fallen into the trap of feeling like a victim, but the reality is, I can tell myself it doesn't have to be such. I can take back power and make healthy choices for myself.
Thanks, Kelsi.
YES! Wow, you said that perfectly. I wish I could have quoted you for this post haha.
Delete"I've fallen into the trap of feeling like a victim, but the reality is, I can tell myself it doesn't have to be such. I can take back power and make healthy choices for myself." That is so perfect! You are definitely on the right track. Just keep on listening to your own truth, even if that means going against the crowd.
Thanks for the comment! :)
Ooo! Preach it! Love this post! And I love that you ended it with my pic! Yay! I have been trying to send the same message to as many people as possible. Relapse is common, yes. Relapse does not mean you will not recover. Relapse doesn't have to happen. Period. I'm having such a good time reading through your blog. Seriously. You're so wonderful!
ReplyDeleteThanks Josie! I'm glad you're having a good time reading haha. That totally makes my day! Thanks for letting me use you fabulous pic. :)
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