Hi. My name is Kelsi and I believe calling myself an alcoholic brings more shame than kindness to my recovery. After a decade of failures in the mainstream recovery world, I decided to try something different. This page is a celebration of everything I have learned along the way and what is currently working on my recovery journey.
When I was in elementary school, my best friend and I would write, illustrate, and pretend to publish books in our free time. Writing allows me to creativity channel my (huge, overwhelming, often inappropriate) emotions.
When I am not writing, I feel most like myself when I am in nature. I have a 14lb havapoo dog named Teddy. I am obsessed gardening and flowers and herbs and basically anything green. My background includes two degrees (that I do not use) in culinary arts and sociology.
Life Goal: Be employed as a writer.
Some of my favorite writers and resources are:
Glennon Doyle
Brene Brown
Liz Gilbert
Tempest
Holly Whitaker
Morgan Harper Nichols
Taylor Swift
Questions? Feel free to email me at kelsibelle6@gmail.com.
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Instagram - kelsi_belle
https://www.instagram.com/kelsi_belle/?hl=en
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Instagram - kelsi_belle
https://www.instagram.com/kelsi_belle/?hl=en
Hi(: I just wanted to say, I love your blog SOO very much. It has helped me answer a lot of the random little questions I've had during my recovery. Thanks for all you do, I really appreciate it<3
ReplyDeleteAww, hi Emily! Thanks so much for such a lovely comment. It is inspiring to me to know that there are others, like yourself, out there fighting the same daily battles. Hang in there- and never forget to track your progress, no matter how small it might be! <3
DeleteI don't know if you can answer this... but I read through your entire blog just now and fell in love with it. You are amazing and such an inspiration! I'm fighting for recovery without a treatment team &was wondering.. how do you know when to lower calories to "maintenance calories"? And how do you know when you can trust your natural hunger cues again?
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I have to give you major kudos for fighting for recovery without a treatment team! That takes serious determination, drive, and heart- YOU are a huge inspiration to ME!
DeleteI knew to lower my calories once I hit my set point weight. Without a treatment team, it's difficult to know what your set point weight is. Mine was in the middle-high range of what is considered a "healthy" BMI. Hunger cues can take anywhere from six months to a year (often times more) to come back, everyone is different. I was told to stick to a strict meal plan for at least a year. I eat a certain number of calories everyday whether I'm hungry or not... it sucks, but it's worth it.
I don't know if this helped much, but I'd be happy to continue talking to you ask you continue to recover. Most days are really hard, but if you can push through, it DOES get better. <3
I just left day treatment after 6-months and am really struggling. I left against the advice of my treatment team but I just couldn't handle the uncomfortable feelings any more. I couldn't handle being so uncomfortable in my body. I am beginning to realize that I've made a huge mistake in running away from recovery every time it gets too hard or my weight gets above a certain number.
ReplyDeleteYou are truly an in inspiration to me and I hope I can get back on the recovery bandwagon and kick ED's butt.
thank you for sharing your story.
Hey Penny,
DeleteThank you so much for the comment and your kind words! I am sorry to hear you are currently struggling, but I think what you are feeling is a totally normal part of recovery. There have been countless times I have felt similar to how you feel now and wanted to run away from recovery. It's hard work. The most difficult thing for me was learning to trust the process and completely give up control, but once I did, everything seemed to fall into place.
Keep fighting! You are worth recovery and you are better than your eating disorder! <3
Hi Kelsi
ReplyDeleteI've been following your blog for a few months now and I just wanted to say how helpful and encouraging I've found it as a fellow AN sufferer. You've really helped keep me looking forward when at times I've felt like burying my head in the sand.
I wondered if it would be ok to PM you or do you not have that facility on this blog deliberately? I understand if not.
Keep going and keep your head up :) You're an inspiration!
Botbee
xxx
Hey! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. It really helps me to find out that I'm not alone in this battle!
ReplyDeleteOkay, don't laugh, but I don't know what PM means haha. I'm not good with technology. I might have the ability, but have no idea how to even use it. It's something I would be interested in doing if it helps me/others in anyway!
Thanks again- Keep fighting! <3
hehe it means 'personal message'... basically I really wanted to ask you a few things as I'm well struggling to say the least but didn't want to air it in front of everyone that's all. But I totally understand if you'd rather I didn't. Keep going - you're getting there.
Delete'Don't look back - you're not going that way anymore'
x
Haha, I don't have personal messages on this blog. You can always email me at cronkrk@mail.nmc.edu :)
DeleteI just want to say how much I enjoy reading your blog. I'm in recovery for an eating disorder as well, and your entries are a refreshing reminder of why leaving my ED behind was the best decision I ever made. You write with such sincere reflection and joy. :) Thanks so much for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteHi Anna,
DeleteThank you so much for such a lovely comment- you just made my Monday morning. :) Keep up the good work in your own recovery. It seems to get a little bit easier everyday. You're not alone. Keep fighting! <3
Hi Kelsi,
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog a couple days ago and have since read the entire thing. You are amazing, so authentic and transparent. I'm also from Michigan, just north of Detroit, but we have a summer cabin in Traverse City :) I am fighting for recovery after a 17 year battle with anorexia and bulimia and reading your blog restored some of the hope I felt after leaving treatment a few years ago. I'm thankful for women like yourself that remind us all that it is possible. Not easy, but possible. It's a bit ironic, I got a social work degree knowing that I wanted to go to culinary school, and became quite sick while working in a residential treatment center for adolescents...now I can't wait to get healthy to persue my culinary education knowing full well I never want to go back to social work!
Hey there,
ReplyDeleteThis comment made my day. Thank you very much for taking the time to read through my blog. I wish you the best with your own recovery. I love that you have a background in social work, but plan on pursuing culinary! The program in TC is amazing and I would highly recommend it. :) Sending you lots of love. Keep fighting, you will get there! <3
Hi Kelsi,
ReplyDeleteI found it out that your blogs is very infectious for me. I am Japanese, and always thin. My weight dropped in Winter 2012, and I have been trying to gain it back. I have always known that I am obsessed about my self-image and weight since I was 20s, but this struggle confirms me that I am anorexia. I am 5'5" and weigh 105 lbs right now as I bounced back. It has been rocky. I have gone to Overeater Anonymous, and it has been a life savor for me. That is how I have been trying to recover from this disease.
Please keep recovering, because I need some inspirations. Thank you! xoxo
Hi!
DeleteI think it's really amazing that you are doing whatever you can to get well and take care of yourself- That is so inspiring to me!! My road has been rocky too, but I kind of think that's normal. I'm happy to have helped in any small way that I could, but never forget you are the one doing all of the hard work!
Keep fighting- you deserve it!! <3
Hi Kelsie! My name is Brooke and I was at RCC when you came in. I just wanted to thank you so much for being a inspirational woman. It was my second time in treatment and after hearing your story, I really believe that I can follow through this time. I actually discharged today. I couldn't feel any better about it. At the same time, I am a bit nervous but I have good reason :~)You give me so much hope. You brought light to the recovered side of life of an eating disorder. I hope to keep in contact
ReplyDeleteHey Brooke!! :)
DeleteCongrats on being discharged today! That has to be such an amazing feeling. I know it's a little scary, but it's also the beginning of the rest of your life. You are such a sweet girl and I'm really glad we got the chance to meet yesterday. You have a bright future ahead of you and I can't wait to see where your new healthy life takes you!
I'm always here if you need anything at all. Don't hesitate to ask anything! Take care and good luck! You will do great :) xoxo
hey lady, I found the post on exercise I did. let me know your email or email me at therunwithin@gmail.com so I can send it to you!
ReplyDeleteI just emailed you :)
DeleteI may, or may not, have just read every single one of your posts. You're incredible. Keep fighting!
ReplyDeleteAw thanks so much for reading! Glad to have you on this journey with me. <3
DeleteKelsi, I just wanted to say even though we haven't spoken in quiet some time, I still read your blogs, ever time you post them. You are so encouraging and you keep me going. I love you and I'm so incredibly proud of the progress you have made!
ReplyDeleteMariah, this made me cry. Thanks so much for reaching out. I hope you're doing well. I love you too! Keep fighting the good fight woman. Sending a BIG hug!! <3 xo
DeleteHi Kelsi , I am 13 years old . I am 6 months into recovery my weight is evenly disturbuted across my body aside from my stomach and my thighs , I have the beer gut going on and it is not pretty will this ever go away please help.
ReplyDeletejust a few side notes : I am 4 ft 9 inches and 108 lbs .
I am weight restored and have overshot
I never went through puberty and haven't gotten my period ever. I am eating 3000calories + comfortably .
I was anorexic for about a year and 3 months.
I am seeing a therapist and a doctor who both are not experienced in this area.I was hoping you could shed some light on this subject. Thanks again , love your blog.
Hey there! The redistribution process does take some time. I found the more consistent I was with my eating, the quicker it happened. It does take some time to feel comfortable in your body again, so give it some time. Because you are so young, your body will continue to go through changes but you've proven you can already deal with them. You've done a great job so far! Keep up the good work and just be patient. :)
DeleteHey Kelli,
ReplyDeleteDid your digestion and bloating return back to normal eventually, or do you still have problems? If it did, was it a more gradual process and you could tell it was getting better slowly, or was it something that didn't seem tonged better for a while, but then it made a lot of progress very suddenly (like weight redistribution)?
Kelsi *
DeleteHi there!
DeleteDigestion and bloating are probably two of the absolute WORST parts of recovery. I actually published this post two years ago that might be helpful http://kelsisprogressionobsession.blogspot.com/2013/07/digestive-difficulties-menstrual.html
It was definitely a gradual process for me. During the first month or so of weight gain I didn't really have bowel movements at all. :( And it continued to be quite gradual after that. I think it takes the body awhile to adjust and it wants to absorb all of the nutrients it can, which makes the digestion process complicated. Unfortunately, it didn't happen suddenly for me. But I will say, the more consistent you are with your eating, the more quickly your metabolism can adjust and get back to normal. Best of luck to you!!!
Thank you for the link!
ReplyDeleteWould you say you have gotten back to your digestive capacity before your ED, or are you still struggling with bloating, irregularity, etc?
For the most part I am back to normal, I think. Honestly, I'm not really sure what "normal" is anymore haha. I think we all have different digestive issues and what is considered normal. It would be interesting to research on whether or not we ever actually return to a normal digestive system or not. And sorry for the late response once again! ;)
DeleteWow, just realized how old this post was.
ReplyDeleteWow, just realized how old this post was.
ReplyDelete