Initially, during the beginning of weight restoration, all of the extra pounds settle in the midsection and show up in the face. This causes a horrifying pregnant belly look and a very noticeable uneven distribution of weight. It's quite unpleasant. Many people actually have a really difficult time with this phase of recovery and end up giving up because they don't believe they will ever look "normal" again.
While I was still in treatment, my therapist had to remind me every single day that redistribution would happen if I gave it time; meaning the weight from my stomach would spread out more evenly among the rest of my body. Honestly, I thought that was a bunch of bologna and continued to be annoyed with my weight gain situation. As if gaining weight wasn't mortifying enough, having it all go to my stomach made it that much worse.
It has been proven that weight redistribution, hunger cues, and general eating habits can take anywhere from 6 months to a year (or more) to normalize. My treatment team put a ton of time and effort into tweaking my metabolism; so it became extremely important to me not to mess that up.
As hard as it is to believe, it has officially been six months since I hit my goal weight. Most days I do not think my weight has even begun the redistribution process; but because I see my body every single day, it's hard to see the changes that have taken place over time.
So, after a week of atrocious body image, I needed to do something about it.
The first picture is on my graduation day at the end of last summer and the second picture is one I took this morning. Same dress, same belt, same Kelsi- much different distribution of weight. Actually, my set point weight went up about 7-10 pounds after leaving treatment, which means my weight is that much higher in the second picture.
There isn't much else for me to say in this post except- redistribution DOES happen and I am living proof of it. Once again, this just goes to show that the number on the scale means absolutely nothing. Suddenly, my bad body image day is gone.
Progress.
this is amazing.
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
DeleteHey I been recovered for about 8 months already and I see more weight in the mid section of my stomach more thank my thighs is it going to restribute or is this how my body is going to look.How long did it take for your weight to restribute? This is for Kelsi to please answer
DeleteHi Emily - sorry it took so long to respond! Everyone is different. There is no specific time for how long it takes for the weight to redistribute. It can take anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. Hang in there! I know it is uncomfortable and frustrating, but it will get better. <3
DeleteI'm so glad you wrote this post..I know a lot of girls coming out of treatment places thinking the weight is permanent when in reality it will all even out. I struggled with the same thing and it really DOES happen like you said. It's just about patience!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tayla! You're right, it's almost like torture in the beginning, but it does get better! And I never believed it until today. YAY! <3
Deletethank you so much for posting this! it was really helpful for me to read, as I just got out of treatment a few weeks ago and have been struggling a lot with my new weight.
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome! I think the most important thing is doing your best to maintain your weight. The redistribution process seems to work a little faster that way. ;-) Keep up the good work!
DeleteSo happy that you wrote this as this is something I am currently struggling with. <3 You are so gorgeous, you know. Your smile is priceless.
ReplyDeleteThank you SO much for your kind words!! I'm glad this post helped you a little bit. It was definitely reassuring to me, as I'm sure it was to you, to know that redistribution is real. Keep up the good work, it does get better! Sending you lots of love <3
DeleteWow this is great! I am just about a month into recovery and my body image is all over the place because it feels as if all the weight is going to my stomach! But after seeing those photos I am feeling much better about weight gain! If I recover looking as lovely, fit and healthy as you I will be very pleased.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't mind me saying you also look beautifully slender - I mean in a healthy way of course. Nothing like I initially thought recovery would make me look.
You're not alone in your concern, but trust me, your treatment team is not is not out to make you overweight in anyway whatsoever! Also, I should mention that I have done zero exercise since leaving treatment, I have only focused on sticking to my meal plan the very best that I could- I think that helps regulate the metabolism a little faster. Thanks so much for the comment and your kind words! Hang in there! It does get soooo much better! <3
DeleteThank u so much honey,i am an older woman who has suffered most of my life with ana.I so needed to hear this.I am trying to do this on my own due to insurance.I hope this runs true to older women also.thank u so much.c.chapman
DeleteCathy- there is NO WAY I could have done this one my own. You are such an inspiration to me! I'm sure redistribution is true for all ages, just give it time. Thanks for the comment! <3
DeleteThank you so much for posting this. My dietitian also told me that it would take at least 6 months for the redistribution, but somewhere in my mind... I am not believing it. I need to gain weight about 10 lbs, and that will bring my weight back to the time when I was healthy. I am 45 years old. Does the age matter...? My dietitian says, "NO"... but it just really triggers me... REALLY REALLY TRIGGERS ME... *struggling*
ReplyDeleteI really do love reading your blogs. Thank you, xoxo
You're welcome! I don't think age should matter at all. The biggest thing with redistribution is TIME. It's frustrating for awhile, but just remember that your body needs that time to relearn how to function properly. Also, because you live with yourself everyday it is hard to see the progress. If it helps, I had to gain about 50lbs and redistribution still happened! Trust your body, it will take care of the rest.
DeleteKeep fighting! <3
This is such a great and helpful post! I get asked by my clients all of the time if the weight gain in their stomach and face is a normal part of refeeding and if they will always look like that. I always discuss with them that weight gain there is a normal part of refeeding, but that some of it should redistribute within 6 months to a year (and that they have to be patient). I am glad I came across this post. It's one thing for someone to hear from their dietitian (or another treatment team member) that redistribution of weight will eventually happen, but quite another to hear from someone who actually went through it.
ReplyDeleteAwesome- I'm am thrilled to hear it helped! I didn't believe it would actually happen either, until I did this post. My therapist had to constantly remind me. Thanks for the comment! :)
Deletedo you have any tips on how to make the redistribution come along quicker? i have been adding candies to my 3500kcals every day in hopes to speed the process (lol as counterproductive as it feels), but any words of advice from a seasoned vet would be much appreciated. You look amazing, by the way; you looked amazing in the left photo too, though. just saying :)
ReplyDeleteGosh I wish I knew of a way to make the weight distribution process go faster - I'd be a millionaire! Hahha. Everyone is different, but I do think consistent eating and sticking to your meal plan is really important. The more stable you can keep your weight during those first 6-12 months (and forever) the faster it seemed to go for me. Best of luck to you!! xx
DeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this! I am turning 19 in a month and was anorexic for about 2 years. I have been a normal weight for over a year now and my weight has not redistributed! I have not had my period for 6 months (I've had it two-three times extremely lightly every since I've reached my goal weight). My doctor has now put me on birth control to hopefully get it back.
Another issue is that I am a varsity athlete in college and so I have to train pretty intensively to keep in shape, but I'm worried that the training is blocking my period from returning? Is there a link between menstruation and weight redistribution? I've been fine with gaining the weight back and have been doing really well, but lately the fact that I've been recovered for over a year and there are still not signs of period/weight redistribution is starting to get to me.
Any advice? Do you know anything about this?
And your photo is inspiring, so THANK YOU!
I think I have heard that many serious athletes lose their periods due to lack of body fat. You can be at a healthy weight, but still have a small amount of body fat. And everyone takes different amounts of time to regulate. There are so many factors that go determine this. Also, if you are under a lot of stress, it can effect the regulation of your period. Congrats on gaining the weight back! That's a huge step. Keep being patient and kind with yourself. Good things will happen! <3
DeleteKelsi, I can't tell you how much this has helped me mentally. I'm 5'2" and have been working with a nutritionist to go from 95 pounds to 110. I've pretty much reached my goal weight, but I'm feeling so gross and fat. I know you said that it takes a whole for the weight to properly redistribute, but I am so frustrated and feel like it never will. I still don't have a chest and that's bugging the heck out of me because I feel like I'm gaining weight everywhere else. Do you have any insight on this? Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHey, I just wanted to know if things got better...
DeleteI'm 13 years old and 5'3, recovering anorexic, and I feel REALLY fat, and gross. Still no chest at all, and gaining weight everywhere else :(
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH.
ReplyDeleteHi, I finally decided to confront my eating disorder at the end of July, it is now the start of February. I find that my body shape has completly changed. Puffy face and flabby belly. I get anxiety from time to time as I miss being the 'thin' one, however I am determoned to stick with the regualr eating and not restricting myself as I had some really low point. My weight at one point being 7 stone 6 lbs and 5 goot 6 that was considerably thin. I am worried that my body will never return to my post eating disorder days when I was naturally thin because of the famine fast it has endured over a period of about five years. Is this normal? Xxxx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing something so personal and yet so inspiring. I am currently 7 months in to recovery and am now in maintenance. Feelings are really raw and heightened for me right now but seeing your honest and inspirational post makes more sense than my therapist!
ReplyDeleteI cannot thank you enough Kelsi, keep on keeping on :-) x
Hi, thanks for writing this post, it is really helpful. I'm 17 years old and haven't had my period in two years because I was overexercising and not eating enough. But I've been in recovery for over a year and reached my goal weight about 7 months ago. But the weight still has not redistributed! I have been weight training and working out, and see definition, but my stomach is still huge from bloating and fat accumulation there. I still don't have my period but started birth control pills two weeks ago so we'll see if that will help. I guess my question is if anyone knows whether the birth control pills and their effect on my hormone levels will help to kind of "kick start" redistribution? I'm just so tired of this and am ready to move on with life... Thanks for your help:)
ReplyDeleteYou look amazing :D I too am in recovery and have been told i am now allowed to maintain my weight and exercise my body is needing to redistribute the weight though as some is still on my stomach...how long did it take for yours and does the stomach start to look better with every passing month of distribution
ReplyDeleteJust to clarify: the picture on the left is the earlier one, right? If so, wow, that distribution of weight really is different now (and you look great, too!)
ReplyDeleteI wonder if this is true for those who aren't in an eating disorder recovery period, but who are just trying to gain weight period. I'm trying to put on at least 30 pounds (I was at a normal weight, but I'm tired of being "the thin one"), and after the first 10 went on, it's all gone into my abdominal area. I'm hoping that eventually it will start to redistribute to other areas.
I'm really glad that I found your blog, and this entry because I am currently dealing with this issue, and it is NOT easy!
ReplyDeleteIt has been a year (I was admitted the Tuesday after labor day last year) since I entered my first stint into an EDU. I have come a long way since, but I know, and feel that I still have a long way to go.
I guess that I'm still in the refeeding process as I know that I am not at my set weight yet, and my opinions of my body are horrible (and totally off).
I hate how I feel, hate how I look in the mirror and wonder why it is that I am gaining, and feel that I am holding, all of this weight in my midsection and nowhere else.
Again, reading this entry of yours has given me hope that if I just continue to eat a healthy diet, that in time I will get to my goal weight and that I will begin to look normal again.
Thank you!
A
Keep up the good work!! Sorry for such a long response time.. I have been way too distant from this blog! But yes, everything you are feeling is totally normal and you will begin to feel better eventually. Just keep reminding yourself that these feelings are temporary and hang in there!! <3
DeleteHello Kelsi, thanks for your blog, it also helped me a lot. I started my treatment about three weeks ago, after having a horrible episode where I almost fainted while driving after a gym class and my sugar levels were completely off.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a rough couple of weeks, but I manage to go through and also I was soo afraid of dying that day and nothing is going to send me back to where I was. It was horrible!
I am out of the danger of the re-feeding syndrome and also out of the hyper-metabolic stage..were I could not stop eating and eating and eating. I feel like I gain to much weight too fast, but I know I should not complaint and trust the process.
The weight is not only in my stomach but also in my tights and boobs, did this happen to anyone???
I cannot fit into the pants I was using before I started with my eating disorder, did that happen to any of you?
Also none of my bras work..they all fit too tight...
Let me know your thought and experience.
Thanks so much, Ana.
Hi Ana,
DeleteI think what you are experiencing is pretty normal. Along with the weight gain in your midsection, you do start to gain in other places as well. When I say the weight goes straight to your stomach, its true, but it is also true that it goes other places.
And remember it's okay to complain and be frustrated with the process. Don't bottle up those feelings. Talk about them with your therapist and she can help you work through them. Know that this process is incredibly difficult and you don't have to do it alone.
I'm proud of you for making it through the first few weeks of refeeding. If you can make it through these first few weeks, then you can definitely keep going!
Sending lots of love. :)
So nice to read this. Both pics are great, and it really helped a lot! Congrats, beautiful. You are an excellent writer and you are helping fellow treatment patients such as myself. :) <3
ReplyDeleteThe weight redistribution process complete a positive impact in body and have faster favorable result as you wish! So just follow this blog!debate the weight
ReplyDeleteHey Kelsi, I am curious, how did your team "tweak" your metabolism?
ReplyDeleteHey Kelsi, I am curious, how did your team "tweak" your metabolism?
ReplyDelete??
ReplyDeleteHey there!
DeleteI am sooo sorry for the late response. I've actually be back in treatment for a mini "booster" to help get me back on track.
Tweating the is tricky. It definitely took time. I had to actually eat more in order to rev my metabolism back up. My metabolism was so slow during my initial stay in treatment that it took some serious rebuilding. Unfortunately, the only way to "tweak" it was to begin eating again. I really had to work hard to eat regularly and not stop regardless of my hunger cues. At that point I could not count on my hunger cues to help me in any way. Simply eating an apple made me think I was "full." The only way to get better was to keep eating... As difficult as that was.
I also saw your other comment about the Maudsley approach. Unfortunately, I didn't begin treatment until I was 23 so I never did the family based approach. I think if you can get your family on board and make those changes together it is a great thing, but it also takes a time and effort. And what happens when you leave your parents house and they are no longer able to help you? I know everyone is different, but there are a ton of aspect to consider with every treatment program.
Keep up the good work and keep fighting the good fight! xoxo <3
What was the amount of cals you recovered on?
ReplyDeleteIt has been two years..but my body didn't redistributed my weight.is there any hope left?Please tell me,will i look normal again?
ReplyDeleteDid you email me? I will respond ASAP :)
DeleteHey, how are you now?
Deletehow long did it take you to see redistribution? i've been fighting with this for four years now, and been maintaining a relatively stable weight for about three of these, even though i probably do need to put on a few more kilos. i'm just so worried about this redistribution not happening for me, or not happening fast enough
ReplyDeleteHey, how are you now?
DeleteCan you email me? Ank27307@email.vccs.edu
ReplyDeleteHey there. I've been malnourished for about a year nos and hace recently started gaining weight, but I'm afraid that it's too late to fix it and that my body will never redistribute because I have mucked yo my metabolism! Do you think i have perhaps stalled todo long?
ReplyDelete