Saturday, August 11, 2012

Recovery, Not Recovered


noun, plural re·cov·er·ies.
1. an act of recovering.
2. the regaining of or possibility of regaining something lost ortaken away.
3. restoration or return to health from sickness.
4. restoration or return to any former and better state orcondition.
5. time required for recovering.

With 14 weeks of treatment under my belt and nearly 45% of my starting weight gained, it makes sense to assume I have fully recovered- Right?! Sure, my fear foods have been faced, my hair and nails are healthy again, and my ability to laugh and be silly has returned, but does that mean I have recovered?   

With a few of my best friends graduating (aka, being discharged) this past week and two more this coming week, I got to thinking about recovery. The biggest misconception of ED treatment is that once you reach a healthy weight and are ready for discharge, somewhere along the way a magical cure takes place. Good to go. Happy as can be. Ready to rock. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Trust me, I wish it was that simple!
Unfortunately, the grass isnt always greener on the other side. There is a major difference between recovering and being recoverd. My unbelievably ignorant insurance company seems to think that the number on the scale determines one's well being. Don't get me wrong, 14 weeks seems a little extreme, but I'm slowly beginning realize the hard work of recovery has only just begun. 

Transitioning from a safe environment with people who understand completely, back into the real world somehow seems scarier than entering treatment. To have a fresh start and an opportunity to do anything I want with my life is exciting & overwhelming at the same time. Thankfully, I have been given the gift of a new set of best friends and a support system that will never go away.
Watching my friends transition home before me has been bittersweet. And with my graduation only a few weeks away, I'm starting to get a little nervous. It is very possible we will be in recovery for the majority of our lives. According to my favorite blogger and roommate, Morgan, "Life is a Process" (check out her blog! Change might be scary, but it's the only way to continue down this crazy road toward recovery.



  1. Spot on! A process that I'm glad I have shared and will continue to share with all of you. But you're strong and will come out on top- even if we have to be soldiers fighting with many battles to go; its a war we can win.

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  3. i am so very proud of you. really. :) (and this is your cousin, Lindsay, by the way...i can't figure out how to post this as me rather than as "Unknown")