Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Bacon Cheeseburger

Last night something unbelievable happened and I need to take a moment to brag about it. 

I ordered, ate, and enjoyed a bacon cheeseburger. 


Let me give you a little background information, so you, too, can understand why this is such a big deal for me. Three or four years ago, upon starting culinary school, I made the decision to become a vegetarian. This decision was made with an eating disordered mind; meat became one less thing that I had to worry about eating. When others questioned my decision to go veg, as an effort to cover up my disordered ways, I told them it was because I disagreed with the mass production of beef, the growth hormones and any other fake excuse I could come up with.

As a child, I grew up in a meat and potatoes kind of family, so it quickly became obvious that my new eating habits were not healthy.

A few years ago, while I was still working in the culinary world, we hired an intern who almost instantly became my best friend. At the time we had almost everything in common, except for one thing- she was a bacon fanatic. That girl can smell bacon cooking from three miles away and she never missed a chance to snag some from the kitchen.

So, needless to say, when she heard the news that I have given up my vegetarianism and am now a bacon lover, too, she took me out on a bacon cheeseburger date. For a good week ahead of time, I was dreading this date. I have eaten burgers and bacon since I have been in recovery, but never together and never a burger THIS big. 

Let me just say, it was probably the best thing I have eaten. I'm not sure if it was actually the burger or if it was the company or the thrill of eating such a scary food, but it doesn't matter. I was in heaven.


Today I am thankful for two things: best friends that I can go more than a year without seeing and nothing changes AND bacon cheeseburgers.

Last night I remember saying, "So this is how normal people eat, huh?" 

Progress.

12 comments:

  1. way to go lady! this is a huge step and I have to say, I am a bacon fanatic! Oh what silly things the Ed once made us do, am I right?

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  2. You are sooo right!! How did I survive so long without bacon?! Thanks for the comment <3

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    1. just so happens that two emily ann's like this!!!

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    2. YAY!!! Thanks little EmJ! You are a sweetheart. Love you darling <3

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  4. Way to go Kelsi! Mark your calendar....
    That burger looks and sounds amazing.
    Your friend looks like she could be your sister!
    Enjoy the victory.

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    1. Thanks Wendy!! I will make my calender, that's a great idea. And my friend will be very happy to hear that you think she looks like my sister, I will be sure to tell her! <3

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  5. Congratulations! I am so unbelievably happy for you! I hope I can get back to that place some day in the not so distant future.

    I am a vegetarian at the moment, and have been from aged 11, before my eating disorder even started - so it was mostly a decision based on wanting to be different (I was a kid, we all have went through the phase).

    However, I was a lover of vegie burgers and 'chicken' burgers etc for years until my eating disorder started and since I have sadly not been able to handle a burger. Vegie bacon, yes but not burgers and defiantly not together.

    I hope some day I can get back to being strong and being able to handle such delicious things.

    You are truly an inspiration and a very strong woman. An image of hope!

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    1. Aw, Hey Chloe- THANK YOU!!
      You will get back to where you feel comfortable with certain foods. The treatment center I went to was pretty good at making us face fear foods (especially when we didn't want to ha), but I see now how much that really helped me. Maybe someday you will kick your vegetarianism and maybe not. Either way, I have faith that you, too, will soon be able to enjoy your favorite foods guilt free! Life is too short to not eat the foods you love!
      Keep fighting! Burgers are in your future! :) <3

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  6. I didn't develop my eating disorder until after my 20s. I was always eating a huge meal, and I was always thin. The heaviest was always 117 lbs, and it fluctuated for several pounds. I didn't care. I knew that I was a big eater, and really didn't care about how much the others were consuming. Their plates were always small (this was in Japan), and I felt like, ".... that's not enough for me." I was happy that I could eat a lot. I miss the time. Now, I am a lot older, and self doubt comes in. I miss the time when I felt free for eating, because I do love eating. You are awesome. xoxo

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    1. I honestly never thought there would be a time in my life when I would be able to eat "normally" again and I still don't feel like I am completely there. But, with time and practice, I know you can get there. Your metabolism will start working again, you just have to feed it. ;)

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