I walk on rainbow clouds

We’ve all heard the “pink cloud” sobriety metaphor. Many people, from various recovery programs, have told me stories about this sparkly pink cloud of joy they walk on during the first few months of sobriety. They say it’s as if they are suddenly gliding through a life that is filled with bliss, hope, and rose-colored glasses.

I just celebrated one year of practicing sobriety (🎉). I have only slipped three times in the past 365 days (🎉🎉). To be exact, that is a 99.18% success rate (🎉🎉🎉). This has been the most sober year of my adult life, and I am still waiting to experience this so-called pink cloud. The first year of recovery, for me, often felt closer to trudging through mud in holey boots, than it did walking on some glittery pink cloud.

Yesterday while bundled up for a 19-degrees-below-freezing walk, my dog Teddy and I witnessed the most breathtakingly vibrant sunrise. It looked like the sky had been painted with brilliant hues of red, orange, yellow, green, dark blue, pink, purple, and gray. It was a full rainbow of colors in the clouds.

I like to think of my first year of sobriety as walking on rainbow clouds, rather than a pink cloud.

❤️ Some days I have red clouds of fiery anger and passion beneath my feet.

🧡 Some days I walk on orange clouds filled with optimism and curiosity.

💛 Some days I walk on yellow clouds filled with creativity, joy, and light.

💚 Some days I walk on clouds that are green with envy and resentment.

💙 Some days I walk on midnight blue clouds filled with depression, grief, and loneliness.

💗 Some days I walk on pink clouds filled with love or the rosy cheeks of embarrassment.

💜 Some days I walk on purple clouds filled with fear and sensitivity.

☁️ Some days the clouds beneath my feet are just gray and blah.

🌈 Most days there is a rainbow of clouds and emotions below my feet.

I used to feel a tinge of shame for never reaching this presumed pink cloud in sobriety. It felt like I was doing something wrong. But, by pretending to walk on rainbow clouds, I can welcome and normalize the full spectrum of emotions and colors that I travel with in early sobriety. Is there anything more beautiful than a rainbow?

🌈 I walk on rainbow clouds. 🌈