I release the idea that things should be different

A few days ago we celebrated one of my favorite days of the year - the Summer Solstice. It is the day of the year with the most daylight in the Northern Hemisphere. This kick off to summer is what I look forward to all winter long. My favorite flowers are in full bloom and my vegetable garden will soon follow. I feel surrounded by magic and wonder.

While at the park with my dog, Teddy, I gathered a handful of dying dandelions; the fluffy type that have lost their yellow pigment. Did you know dead dandelions are a symbol of hope, healing, and renewal? When blown into the wind, their seeds are dispersed, bringing new life wherever they go.

One of my favorite ways to celebrate this change of season is to shed aspects of my life that are no longer serving me. This is a season of rebirth. I want to release the idea that things in my life should be different.

I am currently 34 years old. I do not have a driver’s license or kids or a husband or a full time job or a mortgage or any of the other things society says 34 year olds should have figured out by now. I have been struggling with FOMO and intense resentment everytime my family posts photos from their fancy, booze-infested summer vacations. I have been allowing comparisons to be the thief of my joy.

But on the day of the solstice, with my dead dandelions in hand, I experienced a mental shift. I might be missing out on “typical” 34 year old things, but that doesn’t mean my life isn’t full or worth living. I still get to spend time each day engaged in my joy practices: Tempest calls, bike rides, gardening, writing, reading, learning, contemplating, baking, dog mothering, blasting Taylor Swift, and napping. It’s almost like l have been given space to create my own rehab, my own way of recovering. I have been given space to get to know my truest self, with minimal distractions from the outside world, for the first time in my life.

I celebrated the solstice by sitting next to a small stream at sunset, making wishes (a.k.a. releasing shit), and blowing each of the dead dandelion leaves into the wind. 

I release the idea that I am behind in life

I release the FOMO and the resentment

I release the fear of being different

I release the self-doubt

I release the comparisons

I release the idea that my sensitivity is a weakness

I release the idea that my recovery needs to be perfect

I release the fear of letting my parents down

I release the idea that I am crazy

I release all of the shoulds

Most importantly, my dead dandelions and I are releasing the idea that my life needs to look differently than it does at this very moment.

☀️🌞😎 Happy belated Summer Solstice ☀️🌞😎