Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Perfect Weight

After years of obsessing over food, numbers, calories, & weight, I’m ready to make a change. Now that I’m fully committed to this little thing called recovery, I need to switch that obsession to something more productive. Every single day I’m making progress & I rarely take the time to stop and acknowledge it.

I can’t promise I will be able to update this blog every single day, but it’s worth a try. No matter how big or small the growth may be, it needs to be brought to my attention.  

Progress. Progress. Progress. My new obsession will be progress.

Welcome to my Progression Obsession. :)

Yesterday I had a check up with my doctor. I have been getting weighed weekly to help hold me accountable and to track that pesky little number on the scale. All summer I was chasing my "goal weight" and after I finally reached that number I was able to begin transitioning home. It's actually funny to think back to the day my therapist told me what that number was. In my head I was throwing a temper tantrum; never, ever in my wildest dreams did I actually think I would reach that number.

Well, after five weeks of being home, and being on maintenance calories, that number has gone up a few pounds. Nothing noticeable. But enough to play with my mind. My doctor told me yesterday that right now I am at the "perfect weight" for my age and height. I have spent my entire life trying to be perfect, so I should be thrilled, right? Not so much...
If I'm being completely honest, I'm not very happy about it. At the same time, however, I know that simply reaching that number is HUGE progress in it's self. The number on the scale no longer dictates my entire life, like it did for so many years. I'm not happy about it today, but I'm learning how to be.

So for today, my progress is reaching a medically "perfect" weight and having the mindset to stick with it. I might not be thrilled about it today, but it sure beats the alternative!



  1. Yes!!! Yes!!! Think "progress" every day! But don't "judge" progress every day, if I hear what you are saying. Progress is a time thing.....as it's typically thought of......but I see progress like a "plan" which is something you'd "like" to have happen but can take many different routs!!! Life is a PLAN in PROGRESS...and LIFE HAPPENS [aka SHIT]...LOL...SO keep the plan, progress and your beautiful life ahead of you FLEXIBLE, gotta leave room for the shit that happens!!! haaaaaaa!!!! HAPPY DAYS SISSY..HAPPY DAYS!!!! LUV U SOOOOOO MUCH!!! SeDub

  2. Lindsay just sent me your blog and I've read every entry (backwards). I like the scale pic with the Hallmark Card comments. I like your striking honesty. I really like your writing. One thought about your quest for perfection... perfect people are BORING. Imperfections are what gives texture and flavor to a person's character. To be human is to have struggles and "perfect people" use enormous amounts of wasted energy to keep up the image. Keep writing. judy

    1. Aww, thanks Aunt Judy! That just made my day. Thanks so much for reading and supporting, it really means a lot to me. Love & miss you!!

  3. One person's ideal body weight may be completely different from another's. If you compare yourself to family and friends you risk either aiming too high if you are surrounded by obese or overweight people, or too low if everyone around you works as fashion models.

    Even comparing yourself with people outside your immediate surroundings may not work.

    The levels of overweight and obesity in one country, such as the USA or UK, are much higher than in The Netherlands. So a Dutch person may aim for a lower ideal weight than an American if all he did was to compare himself to other people.