After years of obsessing over food, numbers, calories, & weight, I’m ready to make a change. Now that I’m fully committed to this little thing called recovery, I need to switch that obsession to something more productive. Every single day I’m making progress & I rarely take the time to stop and acknowledge it.
I can’t promise I will be able to update this blog every single day, but it’s worth a try. No matter how big or small the growth may be, it needs to be brought to my attention.
Progress. Progress. Progress. My new obsession will be progress.
Welcome to my Progression Obsession. :)
Yesterday I had a check up with my doctor. I have been getting weighed weekly to help hold me accountable and to track that pesky little number on the scale. All summer I was chasing my "goal weight" and after I finally reached that number I was able to begin transitioning home. It's actually funny to think back to the day my therapist told me what that number was. In my head I was throwing a temper tantrum; never, ever in my wildest dreams did I actually think I would reach that number.
Well, after five weeks of being home, and being on maintenance calories, that number has gone up a few pounds. Nothing noticeable. But enough to play with my mind. My doctor told me yesterday that right now I am at the "perfect weight" for my age and height. I have spent my entire life trying to be perfect, so I should be thrilled, right? Not so much...
If I'm being completely honest, I'm not very happy about it. At the same time, however, I know that simply reaching that number is HUGE progress in it's self. The number on the scale no longer dictates my entire life, like it did for so many years. I'm not happy about it today, but I'm learning how to be.
So for today, my progress is reaching a medically "perfect" weight and having the mindset to stick with it. I might not be thrilled about it today, but it sure beats the alternative!