Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Forgiveness


 Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,  
bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.  
If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other. 
-Luke 6:28


There will always be people in life that treat us poorly, break our hearts, and think of no one but themselves. I'm quickly learning that is just a part of life. There is no avoiding it. The people-pleaser in me wishes no one ever had a single bad thing to say about me, but life doesn't really work that way.

Over the weekend, a few unpleasant things were said about me by someone I was once close with. Needless to say, I didn't handle it very well. Being self-critical is one thing I excel in, so hearing those negative thoughts reinforced by others is not a fun time. Thankfully, however, a friend of mine helped change my perspective on the situation.

Rather than allowing me to let my bitterness get the best of me, I was told to see what would happen if I practiced forgiveness instead. What if I said a little prayer for this person instead of talking badly behind their back and getting myself all worked up?

Although I didn't really want to at first, it was requested that I pray that this person was able to find peace that night and release some of their own animosity. At first I kind of laughed at the thought of that. It takes a really big person to set aside those feelings of resentment and find a way to feel empathy. If I'm being honest, in that moment the last thing I wanted to do was be a big person. I wanted revenge and was willing to stoop to that level.

With a whole lot of convincing, however, I did find the strength to do as my friend suggested and I prayed that the person with hurtful words could find peace. "You will thank me in the morning," were the words that convinced me to give it a shot. Not surprisingly, I set a new personal record for the number of thank you's given the next day.

When hurtful situations like this happen, I typically find myself down in the dumps for days, thinking I must have done something horrible to cause such harsh words. But the truth is, life is way too short to allow the opinions of others dictate my mood. Similar to many other aspects of recovery, the only person I need to worry about is myself. 

For as long as I can remember, my dad has always reminded me to "turn the other cheek" in upsetting situations like this. Typically I roll my eyes and continue throwing myself a pity party, but maybe my old man has been onto something all these years (shhh don't tell him I said that). 

Forgiveness is rarely my go-to reaction immediately following hurt feelings, but doing so may be the key to happiness. By blessing those who have hurt me, I am able to shift my focus and continue practicing healthy thoughts needed for my recovery.

Progress.

12 comments:

  1. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, another one of "life's Epiphanies" for you kiddo, and not only happiness, but peace, AND much more.
    ENJOY! :-)
    Sooooooooooo many more people need to find this out.
    XOXO CW

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    1. I agree that many other people need to know about this. I wish I could have founded out much sooner. <3

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  2. Turning the other cheek is good advice!!! i think my grandma used to say that to me too :)
    Altho its hard to ignore hurtful comments, we must try to see the hurt behind them... people dont say nasty things unless they have a reason and more often than not, that reason is their OWN hurt.
    We should reach out to our enemies and show them that its ok to be different or vulnerable or whatever you ARE. cos we are unique!!!

    oh, unless they are just being plain MEAN - in which case we should walk away, text a friend and let them remind us that we ARE good people, they love us for who we are... and sometimes, you cant please everyone :) xxx

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    1. lol turning the other cheek must be an old person thing. It's not an easy lesson to learn, but I'm thankful to finally be finding my uniqueness. :)

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  3. You're welcome
    -Your (not so) anonymous fan

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  4. I have recently been struggling with the concept of praying for people that I am angry with. But it is something that in the end will make us feel better. There is no taking away the fact that the person hurt you, but in the end when you pray for that person instead of being angry, you find the healing power of God.

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    1. No, you're right Ashlynn, it doesn't take away from the hurt that was caused but it does help with the healing process. You'll find a way to make it work for you.

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  5. Forgiveness is a huge issue for me. We practice it to let go for ourselves and the others. To move on... I have been told to pray for people whom I am resentful at. Pray for giving the person all what I want in my life for 2 weeks. HARD! Loving, loving and more loving. Acknowledge that he/she is also sick in his/her mind, and think like treating a patient in a hospital. Thank you for your post. I need to practice it too. xoxo

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    1. We can practice it together... it is HARD! Sometimes loving, loving, and more loving seems like way too much work, but it's worth it. <3

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  6. From the site below: “Be thankful for all the difficult people in your life, and learn from them. They have shown you exactly who you do not want to be.” – Unknown

    http://www.simplemindfulness.com/2012/08/10/difficult-people-teachers/

    Hope your week gets better. Aunt Judy.

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    1. This is wonderful, Aunt Judy. Mindfulness is something I have been working at for quite sometime so this is perfect. Thank you!!

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