Somebody's Daughter

"And if your daughter came to you,

crying with hunger, 

would you tell her no?

Would you tell her she is too fat,

she wants too much, 

she must shrink into society?

No.
Then why would you tell yourself the exact same thing? 

You are somebody’s daughter."

I read this quote yesterday and not only did it break my heart, it also really got me thinking. 

Why is it that those of us with eating disorders and other self-destructive tendencies think we somehow deserve this type of treatment? As the quote suggests, never in a million years would I tell my own daughter (or anyone close to me) to deprive themselves of a basic necessity. So, again, why is it okay to do this myself?

Where do those of us struggling with eating disorders and similar addictive behaviors gain this belief? No matter how many times I ask myself this question, I can't seem to come up with a reasonable answer. Like my own mother, and several other mothers in this world, she never gave me a reason to believe I should be treated with such disrespect. In fact, I'm not sure anyone has ever given me a reason to internalize such harsh self-beliefs - except myself.

Even with that, however, I am still left questioning why I do this to myself, yet everyone around me doesn't seem to have the same problem. I mean, my issues in life are far less severe, even somewhat irrelevant, compared to many in this world. It's frustrating, to say the least.

I think, if I am trying to make sense of this, all normal people have negative self-thoughts from time-to-time, right? Now imagine those thoughts times ten (or 100), but on a non-stop, persistent basis and you get what those of us with eating disorders experience. And it's crazy because most of us in this position would never, ever dream of treating anyone with the same mockery.

Unfortunately, some of us might be born with this undesirable trait; there's just no escaping it. The good news is, on the other hand, there are ways to overcome these impossible thoughts. Although I still have quite a bit of work to do, I am much more self-accepting than ever now that I am in recovery. Learning to treat myself with the same respect as I hand out to others might be life long learning process and that's okay.

This upcoming week will be a busy one and I can already hear some of those nagging voices creeping up on me.  But if I can keep in mind that I am somebody's daughter maybe I'll be able to show a little more kindness.

Progress.