“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening.
We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed.
It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us,
that we were in fact in the process of change,
of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before.
Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it,
as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth
as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant.
Often the feeling is anything but pleasant.
But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening.
Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting,
holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be,
eventually become the periods we wait for,
for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared
for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability,
a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”
I don't have much else to say. Sometimes I find quotes seem to literally take thoughts from my brain and put them into writing; making my life easier. It's almost like these quotes know me better than I know myself.
Right now I'm in the middle of an unpleasant period of growth. I'm stressed, avoiding, numbing out, isolating, irritated, and acting on old perfectionistic tendencies. But sometimes struggling through these periods of growth is the only way to reach the other side. I've been here and gotten through before, so thankfully, there is lots of hope to lean back on. Sometimes I like to think damaged people are the most dangerous because we all know they can survive.
So I think for the rest of today, my only goal will be to allow myself to see this period of growth for what it is. No more running away from it. It's here and it kind of sucks; but as the quote says, on the other side of this period of growth, the next phase of my life will soon be revealed.