Vacation Triggers

I've been out of town on a much needed vacation which explains my lack of blogging over the past several days. Even though most people think of vacations as relaxing, believe it or not, they can be somewhat triggering for those of us in recovery. One of my email recovery buddies told me her doctor warned her most patients lose weight while on vacation; which is true, but not a good thing to tell those of us in recovery. In our sick minds it makes us think that if we don't lose weight while vacationing then we're somehow a failure. 

The only time my weight has dropped a few pounds was, ironically, after a week long vacation last April. Without the structure of my meal plan and eating at regular times, it became easy for me skimp out on calories here and there. Nobody noticed because I appeared to be eating normally.

This time around, although it hasn't been easy, I have been doing my best to consume my recommended daily calories. In my opinion, learning to deal with past mistakes differently is what recovery is all about. Here are a few of the potentially triggering situations I have faced:

Eating at different times. When I am at home, I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same exact time everyday. Maybe that is a little too structured, but it keeps me in line so I stick to it. Since this vacation has started, I don't think I have eaten breakfast before noon once.

Huge lunches. Without eating much breakfast, I have been enjoying much larger portions at lunch. So far I have had two buffet style (which is always scary) lunches and a cheap Chinese food lunch; none of which I would have ever picked on my own, yet was pleasantly surprised at my ability to face these fear foods.

Ice cream for breakfast. Actually, it was more like lunch because it was after noon. Sharing a pint of Ben & Jerry's was a perfect way to start my day and I highly recommend it. 

Munchies. Bacon & cheddar fries and muddy buddies chex mix are my new fave.

Being around people who actually enjoy being full. What? How does that saying go? Something like, "a full belly, is a happy belly." As strange as it may sound, somewhere along the way, I forgot that some people actually do feel content when their stomachs are full. It's nice to be around people who have such a relaxed relationship with food.

Ordering the most outrageous quesadilla I have ever seen. It was enormous. I thought ordering a quesadilla would be a safe choice, but I was quickly proved wrong.  Everyone at the table was ooohh-ing, ahhh-ing, and high-fiving me when they saw that thing. For me, on the other hand, that massive plate of food triggered a mini freakout. After eating what I felt comfortable with, I stopped even though it didn't look like I had even put a dent in it. Worried about what everyone else might think, I did struggle through the meal, but survived it.

Vacations are supposed to be an opportunity to escape daily life and have a good time; both of which I have done, but I have also been faced with quite a few tests. There is still a small voice in my head trying to convince me to skimp on calories. Luckily, however, with the help of a supportive friend and knowledge gained from past mistakes, it has been much easier to ignore that disordered voice this time around.

Progress.


Best of all, I made a new special friend on this trip. :)