Bloom Where You Are Planted

I received some incredibly helpful feedback on my previous post and as a result, that week long bad mood has finally lifted. If any of you are struggling with you current place in recovery (or life in general, I suppose) today's post is for you. 

The concept of "blooming where you are planted" was introduced to me two days ago and it has really changed my perspective on a few things. I may have heard it in the past, but it really resonates with me at this time in my life. This phrase actually originated in the bible (1 Corinthians 7:17-24). Essentially what it means to bloom where you are planted is to make the most of your current place in life regardless of any unpleasant circumstances. Don't wait until something better comes around - start now!

Lately I have been so caught up in comparing myself and my current place in recovery to the lives of others. We are constantly bombarded with pictures of smiling faces and seemingly perfect lives on facebook and other social media sites, which makes it easy to feel badly about ourselves. I am 25 years old, back in school, recovering from an eating disorder, and living with my parents. Those aren't exactly ideal circumstances compared to most people my age, but ya know what? I can let that bring me down or I can continue to bloom. The choice is always mine.

It's easy for me to forget that I have not even been out of treatment for a year when I begin comparing myself to others. That first year for many is by far the most difficult; there are many up and downs, slips and falls, and more mistakes made than I am willing to admit. For me recovery has been a process of completely rebuilding my life from rock bottom up.

As pointed out by one of the comments on my previous post, I have been given a different and very difficult path in my late teens and early 20s. One of the beautiful things about life is we don't have to take the exact same path as everyone else. Life would be incredibly boring if we did. So why am I continuously getting caught up in the idea that I should be further along in life? 

After quite a bit of self reflection these past few days, I have realized that this recovery process is putting me further ahead than most people in some parts of life. My level of self-awareness continues to increase dramatically and I have been given the opportunity to go back and follow a career path that fulfills me, while some people are stuck in a job they hate forever. I'm learning to take care of myself, be assertive, put my needs first, building a healthy relationship with food, improving self confidence, rebuilding relationships with those closest to me, and the list goes on and on. 

I'd say I have been blooming where I have been planted more than I give myself credit for. Recovery has given me the opportunity to face some pretty scary things at a very young age that some people can't even imagine. In the long run "blooming where I am planted" will make me a much stronger, well rounded person. 

One final piece of advice I received was to make two lists: one with the 10 things I hate most about my eating disorder and the other with the 10 things I hate most about recovery. After completing these lists, I was shocked to find how much better my worst days in recovery are than any day in my eating disorder. This little exercise was a great way to shift my perspective when I needed it most. 

Unfortunately, bad days are a part of life. The good thing is, however, I have learned that my bad days are always the greatest opportunity to learn and grow - or "bloom" - if we take the time to acknowledge whatever is causing the pain. Today I am grateful for all of the support I received during a time of need. I have been "blooming where I was planted" for the past year or so, I just forgot for a few days. 

I'm not 100% happy with my current place in life, but that's okay. I still have the opportunity to make the most of what I have been given and continue to bloom.

Progress.