If someone can answer the question below, I would like to say I could give you a million dollars, but I can't. So let's just say I would be forever grateful if anyone can provide me with a little insight.
"We never see ourselves the way people do.
And it always puzzles me that ED-sufferers find
themselves unattractive and uninteresting,
because I have yet to see one of them who really and objectively is.
All ED-sufferers that I have known so far are
beautiful, brilliant, (over)sensitive and caring people,
so I always ask myself:
"how is it possible that they ever lack self-confidence
and struggle with self-loathing, even for just a second?"
It really hurts me, because this illness is deeply hurting such amazing people
and it's such a pity they can't see themselves the way the others do."
It has been a long time since I have read a truer or more thought provoking statement. Looking back at my stay in treatment and the wonderful people I have met along my recovery journey so far, I can honestly say that my fellow recovering friends are incredible, kind-hearted, beautiful people. Every single one of them.
If that is true, then where does this lack of self-compassion come from? Perhaps these irrational beliefs are simply traits that all (or most) of us with eating disorders possess from an early age. It's as if all of our positive characteristics are completely ignored and the few negatives that we do have are magnified. Maybe those pesky eating disorder voices have told us that we are inadequate and worthless for so long that somewhere along the way our healthy brain begins to believe those thoughts too.
One thing I have learned over the past year, however, is that those irrational beliefs can absolutely be changed - it just takes a whole lot of time and patience. To say I am free of these self destructive thoughts would be a lie, but they have lessened over the past year. Maybe if someone can help me (and many others) understand the question above then we can heal a little more quickly and see ourselves in the same light that others do.