Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Why Media & Body Image Aren't to Blame



 Last week in one of my classes we had a discussion on how the media affects body image and the rise of eating disorders in adolescents. It's not shocking that immediately after learning that was the week's discussion topic I went on a bit of a rant.

Sure, I can understand that the media has had a negative impact on the self esteem of young people in today's society and kids are often bullied based on their physical appearance alone; however, for many of us with eating disorders the media is not to blame. An incredibly bright email recovery buddy of mine, whom I have quoted several times before, said this to me last night and it fits perfectly with this post: 
 
"...It's funny, when people think of triggers for people with eating disorders they often think of glossy magazines or models on catwalks. But, like you, loneliness is one of my biggest triggers. 

Because ultimately, eating disorders are a coping mechanism for dealing with life. 

People with eating disorders aren't "crazy" or shallow. 

They are just people who are struggling."


 One of the questions my teacher asked the class was, "How can we improve body image in adolescents in order to treat eating disorders," which is where my rant began. Let me first say that I have come a long way in understanding that the general population does not understand eating disorders and that's okay. BUT I can't help but get a little irritated when people assume improving body image will magically cure eating disorders.

Loneliness, for example, isn't something I talk about often, but is one of my biggest triggers. My loneliness isn't necessarily caused by a lack of people in my life, but is more a void deep within me that I can't seem to figure out how to fill. When I begin having thoughts of inadequacy, I am also triggered and have to fight off urges to have symptoms. Loneliness and inadequacy often feel out of my control, which makes me crave the controlling aspect of the eating disorder. I still have a difficult time coping with those uncomfortable emotions, making the numbing aspect of ED symptoms appealing.

Gaining a significant amount of weight during recovery was not easy and yes, I do have body image issues but what normal person wouldn't after gaining that much weight? For me gaining weight was frightening because I was being forced to let go of the safe and comfortable environment my eating disorder had provided. I needed help building a new comfort zone with healthier coping mechanisms, not a body image cure.

If body image improvement is the only component of treatment needed to recover, then the recovery process wouldn't be so complex. Without taking each individual's underlying issues into consideration, there is no way to effectively treat this disease. If I didn't deal with loneliness, thoughts of inadequacy, perfectionism, or anxiety on a daily basis, would I have developed an eating disorder? It is impossible to say for sure, but I'm going to say my chances would have been much lower.

Please do not assume that I am in favor of the tactics used by today's media. In fact, I think the unattainable beauty standards set by the media are quite appalling. Even my non eating disordered friends struggle with these impossible standards. This is a problem our entire society faces, not just eating disorder patients.

Seeing pictures of unhealthy looking runway models isn't helpful, but it doesn't send me into a downward spiral either. Poor body image is one component of eating disorders, but it is not the cause. In my humble opinion, if eating disorders are to be successfully treated we need to dig much deeper than the issue of media and body image. 

Rant over.

Progress.

14 comments:

  1. as always, love this post Kels! Every time I am having a bad body image day, I have taught myself to stop and think about what the real issue is, and normally, it is anxiety, inadequacy, stress, fear, loneliness etc., not body image at all. Feeling "fat" is just an easier explanation for all of the deep seeded feelings and fears that we have, and it is easier for me to feel "fat" because then I don't have to explore the real, raw, painful emotions that are actually brewing. But, I find that once I identify that those are the true feelings and work through them, my body image starts to improve.

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    1. Amen, Carly! I think this is one of the biggest misconceptions out there. Once we begin to see past the bad body image, like you said, the real issue is exposed.

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  2. this is such an excellent post! i share your feelings of frustration and irritation completely. it's far too simplistic to attribute eating disorders solely to unattainable standards of beauty/thinness portrayed by the media. to suggest - and have taken seriously - the notion that there are far more complex factors and deeper feelings involved in eating disorders and indeed perhaps a whole set of unconscious aspects that we ourselves are not even aware of is a very difficult thing for people to grapple with. i am with you and i love so much that you wrote this! x.

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    1. Well thanks Allie :) It can be kind of a touchy subject for some people, so I'm happy with the positive feedback. Body image, in my opinion, is just a "cover up" for the real issues involved. xx

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  3. This post goes with what clicked on me when I was reading one post from Carrie Arnold on her blog. She was pointing out that it was not the society or media influenced her to be skinny, but it was rules that she created in her mind. It was so true for me too. It does not matter what the others say to me, I feel right when I follow rules that I created in my mind. It is extremely hard for me to break my own rules, and that is the bottom line of my issues, which stem in insecurity, low self-esteem. I feel something is wrong inside, and constantly try to figure it out and fix it. I don't deny that the society and media influence people somewhat, but then why some people are not? When people feel/believe that they are wrong inside, they believe what the others say. When the majority of people says, "eat right! be healthy!", anorexic minded people start to believe it even when it is not applicable to them because it is hard to be against what the others are saying. We don't feel right inside. Always wrong. It's hard to put my mind in words.... hope somewhat it makes sense... xo

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  4. Yes, that makes perfect sense to me. It's more of a mind game for us than a desire to fit in with society. We are very rigid in our thoughts and have extremely high expectations for ourselves. The eating disorder gives us that control, even though we don't realize it's actually controlling us!
    You have an email coming your way this afternoon! :)

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  5. Ugh I mean there is so much to say on this topic because while they insist it is being addressed, it really isn't. I found gaining weight super hard because I told my therapist this word for word ' it is like going against society'. that is how ingrained that message is about losing weight and being thinner. Going the other way felt internally wrong for me!!!!

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    1. Yeah, absolutely. I can see where this is a huge issue for some people. I don't really think it's being addressed either. There have been some improvements, but nowhere near they level of mprovement we need to see a change.

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  6. I agree very much with you. I remember feeling pressure to be thinner to feel more confident and "popular", but I can see so much how that was just a cover for how unsure, scared, awkward, and lonely I felt. I was always amazed at how alone I could feel even though I was always surrounded by loving family and friends. Numbers that we can keep track of are easier to manage than emotions.

    Loneliness was at the top of my list during the beginning of my college life. My parents had moved across the country after I'd finished high school, so even on breaks I was away from my dearest friends and everything familiar.

    I remember praying distinctly for *joy*--not just happiness--real, deep joy. At this time, I weighed about ten or fifteen pounds more than I do now in my mid-30s, but I was purging and making all sorts of strange food restrictions (ironically, it didn't have much effect on my weight or my happiness!). I found joy when I found out how much God loved me, and when I found other peers who had discovered the same thing. We encouraged each other, and I found several other young ladies like myself who were doing harmful things to their health to try to fill emotional or social voids.

    Even now, I find I struggle the most mentally with body issues when I'm stressed. Our family moved a few weeks ago, and though it was for happy reasons, I found my weight dropping a bit and I also found that I didn't mind as much as I thought I would. Change and emotional stress are much bigger "triggers" for me than seeing a picture of a thin person. "If my weight can stay at xyz, then I'll feel more in control of this situation...it makes me feel like I can handle things and I have strength..."--these are some of the thoughts that try to bring me down.

    Because I am a woman of faith, I can see ED issues in terms of good and evil. God is good; there is also an enemy who is evil and tries to take us away from God's love, protection, and how he wants us to see ourselves/others. I believe that my "ED whispers" are directly from my enemy who wants to distract me from God's plans, blessings, and grace. I pray when I hear them and remind myself of God's promises. I know not everyone shares my beliefs, but they are who I am! I can't tell part of my story and leave that out!

    I truly enjoy reading your posts, Kelsi, and I pray you will continue. You are an encouragement to many!

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    1. I was nodding my head in agreement as I read this entire thing. Change and emotional stress are two components of life that unfortunately never go away. The only way we can learn is through change. We live in a society that thrives on stress and a busy, hectic lifestyle. It's like a no-win situation. Sometimes, however, I feel lucky to have this opportunity to learn how to cope with these difficult times in life because some never have this chance. I think in the long run we will be much better off thanks to our struggles and we will find a place of acceptance. Thank you for reading and such a great comment! <3

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  7. Kelsi, some days I am sure you can read my mind. Thank you for this beautiful post! You are always an inspiration. Keep writing and I'm so proud of your progress :)

    XOXO
    Rebecca

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    1. Aw thanks so much Rebecca! Sometimes I wish I really was a mind reader. :) xx

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  8. I just came across your blog and this is the first post I have read. Thank you for touching on something that has always bothered me, even though I could not put my finger on what it was. I find that with some other disorders and addictions, people are more likely to see loneliness, inadequacy, depression, etc. as the main cause. Meanwhile, with eating disorders, people simply point their fingers at the media and body image without digging deeper. I feel all disorders and addictions have similar roots; it's just how people try to cope that separates them (and trying to cope in a destructive way that makes it a disorder or addiction).

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